Friday, August 12, 2011

With Sadness and Smiles...In Memory of...

There's an unbearable sadness when tragedy strikes unexpectedly. All the fleeting memories start flashing before your eyes and you're temporarily blinded by the shocking pain of loss. I'm reminded that we are mere mortals, that things come and go, that life is precious, and that in a split second it can all go. I haven't been one to necessarily share my romances nor announce things on mass but I'm grieving the loss of my ex-boyfriend, who heroically passed away in an unfortunate accident while he was trying to save his girlfriend.

Keep smiling from above Justin.

Although we weren't right for each other, he will always remain one of the nicest men I've ever had the honor of knowing. He was truly wonderful, thoughtful and amazing. He was the kind of guy whose maturity came with a boyish charm. He had a beautiful smile and a ridiculously infectious giggle that was heart warmingly adorable. I had always wished that we were meant for each other. We broke up because I knew he deserved more than I could give him. In the end, we were just too incompatible in many ways but he was also incidentally the last man that I've really cared deeply about.

My sadness is lifted by remembering the good times we had together. I often say that people come into our life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. For me, he will constantly be a reminder that there are truly phenomenal people out there. That it's ok to keep searching for the one that is right for you. That like him, you should be brave and live openly. That you shouldn't settle for anything or anyone less than you deserve. That you should always keep the great ones in your life. That there are lessons to be learned everywhere and in everyone. And that sometimes even though it's not forever, they will still enrich your life in ways you can never have expected. The salty tears are sweetened by honoring the fact that most importantly he was perpetually optimistic. He believed in LOVE, in LIFE, in celebrating the small moments, in remembering the little things and in cherishing the most important things the world can offer. He was truly one of a kind and I'm blessed to have known and had him in my life, no matter how short it was.


I wish for so many things in this life. But as I sit here and mourn the loss of a great soul, a lover and a friend - I can't help but count my blessings. I recognize that I'm lucky enough to keep meeting people like him who are truly special. That I have the opportunity to keep living life the best way I know how. That it doesn't matter if I fall in love with a man or a woman - I won't give up on finding love. That whatever job or career I have, no matter how hard I work or how much of myself I put in, I won't let it define me. That weight doesn't really matter at the end of the day and I will try and not beat myself about it. That even though I seek and struggle with wisdom, life will always find a way to surprise you and teach you what you need to grow. That happiness is attainable and those moments can come with nervous excitement or with a peaceful contentment. That I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family who will always love and support me no matter what. That I am grateful to have another day...

It's moments like this when I wish I could be a million places all at the same time. My world travels have been and continue to be life changing and so amazing I couldn't even begin to describe its impact on me. But it's also difficult to miss out on so many momentous things - being there for a friend's wedding or funeral, supporting best friends falling in love or starting families, watching my nephews and niece grow up, holding loved ones during health scares and issues. Please know that my love, thoughts, prayers and well wishes are with everyone all the time.

I may not know what my future holds - who I'll meet, fall in love with, new friends I've yet to make, experiences to go through, adventures to seek... but I do know that I will always try and make the most of it and embrace everything with open arms and be the best that I can be. I keep pining for a sense of foreverness that doesn't actually exist. Life is about taking advantage of all the small moments seamlessly joined together through shared experiences. I do hope that somehow I've enriched you all as much as you have given me.

Live life to the fullest - it's the only one we have.

Thank you for all the smiles, good times and most of all for being YOU.
You will always be one of the most amazing men I have ever met.
You will be missed Justin.

Monday, July 11, 2011

G'day mate! The Australian Canada! :)

Australia = It's totally the Canadian oz but with funny accents that I totally have to get use to.

First impressions: Gorgeous! It's beautiful here. There's tons of space, its clean and people are really friendly. There is a wonderful familiarity about Australia. It's pretty much like home but warmer. Mind you I'm in the east on the sunshine coast (just north of Brisbane). Aside from 2 days of rain where it reminded me on Vancouver, it's been beautifully sunny. It's chilly but this is the best "winter" I've ever experienced!!

Stereotypes & myths - let's tackle this one a bit. Alright so it's only been 2 weeks so I could definitely be wrong but here are some observations:

  • Yes, they are all pretty friendly. Everyone one does say " G'day mate. How's it goin? " and it comes with a smile :)
  • I swear I do think they all know how to surf. Walking by the class of 20 kids taking lessons is not helping dis-spell this stereotype nor are the multitude of surf shops everywhere!
  • They are heavy drinkers and kinda crazy. Well, if you go to the bars, it's very true. Then again, where isn't it?
  • It's very expensive here. True. It's not quite as bad as Europe but everything definitely costs more than North America!! Ugh! The cheapest thing in 7/11 should not be $4! Seriously...
  • The sun is really strong here! I got a raccoon tan from my shades just sitting in the car. Yup I'm wearing sunscreen all the time here!
  • Myth- I have not seen a koala bear yet. So they are definitely not everywhere. Although I have seen kangaroos. Wow are they ever cute?! Disappointingly though, they weren't boxing. Haven't seen giant spiders yet either. Or snakes. Or dingos. Or anything creepy like that. So far so good on minimizing my experiences with deadly huge animals.

Too cute! They were just on the side of the road...

  • It's bone dry - yet another myth. Actually there are a suprising amount of lakes, rivers and water everywhere! They build beautiful homes right on the water with parking spots for their boats and yachts. Gorgeous! Now that's the life!
Gorgeous homes in Noosa. Too bad all the yachts were out.

After being greeted by Heidi's beautiful smile at the airport, within 24 hrs we were packing up her car and heading south to see over 600kms of arrestingly beautiful coastline. Oh and by then I had already climbed Mount Coolum with her and her dad and had my first steak sandwich and gelato in Noosa. She hasn't wasted anytime showing me some of the best this country has to offer!

HIGHLIGHTS:
  • Heidi! I have been having a great time because of her. She's been the perfect host/tour guide/friend. Even though we haven't known each other for long I think we've experienced so many facets of our personalities already! Together we've been - Extremely zen. Studious and serious. Debaucherous and crazy. Discliplined and healthy.

We were sooo excited to get going!
  • Nimbim - An odd and funny little hippie town where anything goes. They have a hemp embassy, a mardi grass and the happening place to be at is the museum.
No political asylum. But it was informative in there.

  • Bundjalung National Park - nothing beats waking up to the sound of the ocean, watching colors change in the reflections off waves and having the whole beach to yourself.

One of the prettiest places I've seen.
  • Byron Bay, Yamba, Coff's Harbour. The east coast is sprinkled with tons of small fishing towns that are postcard perfect! It reminds me of the Maritimes back in Canada. At one point we had a picnic on the headlands and it felt like we were in Signal Hill in Newfoundland.
We watched dolphins and whales on the other side of this hill!

  • Driving through a double rainbow. It was amazing!! At one point, we were so close to it we were expecting to find the pot of gold or Lucky charms.

Epic. Amazing.
  • Heidi's place and roomates! It's a 10 min walk through a little forest to the beach, which means I get to enjoy the gorgeous sunshine, watch hot surfers tackle the waves and feel the sand and cool ocean everyday! And who gets lucky enough to meet awesome people right away so you feel you have girlfriends already?! Me!! :)
The girls having wine on the beach during sunset!
  • Heidi's cooking! It's phenomenal and she's been spoiling me!! Goodies on the menu - Thai green curry, prawn and chorizo paella, Asian herb crusted salmon, Aussie steak & 3 veggies, apple & mixed berry crumble and some other creative desserts involving cookies, chocolates, pies and ice cream.



LOWLIGHTS:

  • It's pretty warm considering it's winter but it was still pretty darn cold while we were camping. I'm not complaining though...honestly.
  • Juice cleanse - I'm putting it here cause it it was interesting to only have juice for 2 days. Beets. Pineapple. Celery. Grapefruit. Ginger. Name it I think we juiced it. But, I'm so over it now...lol.
  • Setting up a tent in pitch black darkness = not a good idea. And same goes for not closing the tent door...it's cooold at night and we're lucky the native bush turkeys didn't come in.
  • Detox & cleansing. Australia is my get healthy, fit and back in shape continent. I'm not really sure the patch is working...but at least the desire and attempt is there!
  • I do not have enough winter appropriate cloths. I miss my wardrobe back home! Sigh. First purchases here has been a red fleece jumper (look at me getting into the lingo) and sexy/practical black boots.
  • My resume! Yup, I've been obsessing about getting it right...makes sense considering what I use to do for a living. But it's unnerving to get back to 'reality' considering I've been traveling for so long.

To be honest, I have such high hopes for Australia. I want to find passion...explore opportunities, find work, a new place to call home again (at least for a little while). It's both exciting and daunting to try and get back into the swing of everyday non traveling life. It's funny cause I do actually miss my professional persona. I guess that's a sign to get working again! I can understand why people find it daunting to start fresh. You have to orient yourself, find a place, pray that you meet good people, source a job that will hopefully pay you enough and that you'll enjoy. There are tons of things that you have to think about.

I'm excited to be here... I'm in a great place and extremely hopeful. I've always believed that life is about choices and that you create your realities. That said, I'm looking for an awesome paying job that is exciting and fruitful, with a gorgeous place near the ocean, amazing new friends and maybe a Hugh Jackman lookalike massaging me after learning to surf and maybe Cate Blanchett for a neighbour?! So if anyone has any info, contacts, connections, recommendations let me know ok?! Anyone?! Lol. :)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Round 2 Reunion - Pinas style

I'VE LEARNED THAT:
  • Happiness is...those wondrous moments when my grandmother recognizes me through the hazy fog of memory loss.
  • If you meet a pop star, you should always get them to sign your boobs.
  • Nothing beats kisses and cuddles from your grandma - specially with Nanay's sense of humor!
  • Pain is too painful to share and Frustration is not being able to do anything or be there for your loved ones but Love is fighting beyond history, baggage and bullshit to come together for all the right reasons.
  • Being part and watching kids grow up is amazing. Love you Bentley, Enzo, Sky, Smile and Jayden.
  • Filipino food makes me fat.
  • I do not enjoy oppressive heat. Give me Vancouver's spring any day.
  • I always thought I just really liked helping people. But I think I also have a slight savior complex.
  • The Cruz/Santos/Lamucho women are truly quite the force to reckon with!
  • Home is not necessarily where your heart is. Sometimes it's where you put your backpack down long enough to breathe.
  • You need to take care of your skin. Just cause I'm Asian doesn't mean I wasn't going to age. Eventually it all does catch up with you. Dammit.
  • Any night that starts with balloons and ends with bottomless margaritas will be crazy. Likewise, shots are equally as dangerous.
  • Complications have its purpose and then you gotta move on and figure out what you really want and deserve.
  • I am FULL ON. Almost always, all the time.
  • Everyone needs an alter ego.
  • People really do come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime...
  • Anything truly powerful like chemistry is necessarily illusive because it's surreal when you feel it.
  • The Fort in Manila is a very fun, expensive microcosm that is the most non-Filipino location in the Philippines. And do NOT buy a condo from Megaworld.
  • Some things are done better the second time around...if you get a second chance - always do something about it.
  • Regret only comes if you haven't learned your lesson yet.
  • 50th wedding anniversaries are both inspiring and slightly depressing.
  • True family friends can never be replaced - Dela Cruzes are simply the best!
  • Everybody has issues...Life is about the choices that you make and the paths you chose. Thankfully, everyday is always a new one. All else fails - try not to drink too much.
  • There is comfort in seeing old-new friends! Thanks Michelle, Jiggy, Carlos, Rachel, Barni, Bernt, Tita Girlie.
  • I only remember things in bits and parts.
  • To not feel too displaced, its important to have your own room somewhere and have best friends. Thanks Matt and Dana!!! xoxoxo
  • I'm inspired by the relationships, connections and friendships that I feel. It's the interweaving moments that makes life amazing.
  • Your past doesn't necessarily exist when all you have is your present and no one knows any better...or different...
  • Birthdays can be the best reunions and celebrations. May you have health, wealth and happiness Bing and Tita Vicky.
  • Everybody needs to experience having every single cell in their body light up like it's on fire.
  • I do NOT deal with emotional vulnerability well.
  • Family should and will always come first.
  • If you have a bad feeling about something, just don't do it. It's almost always better to listen to your gut.
  • I only like shopping after a few drinks - officially a Greenhills tradition now.
  • I want to live life fully, knowing that I've done it bravely. That I've touched people's lives. Survived fierce adventures. That I dared to make major mistakes and feel the triumph of epic success.
  • I will endlessly have the support of everyone I have ever cared about in this world in every single way. I am truly blessed.
These are the priceless moments that I've ironically paid tons to experience!


Me Love You Long Time Asia! And now I'm off to my next continent..
I'm going Down Under!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Lovely Laos - Kup Jai Lai Lai

People have often said that Laos is what Thailand was 20 years ago. A warm and genuinely friendly country, it is yet to be completely marred by western globalization or rampant capitalism. But you can tell it's on the cusp...there will be a struggle of retaining culture and mixing it with the profits and pitfalls of tourism. But for now, Laos is still a magical land of relatively untouched natural beauty with tall mountains, awe inspiring landscapes of lush greens with meandering rivers perfect for fishing and idyllic quiet villages.

It's the kind of Third world charm where old ladies still carry kilos of firewood on their back, the village women do laundry and shower in the river using a sarong for modesty. It's a place where mass poverty is prevalent, where houses are still made on uneven stilts and walls of interlaced bamboo.The struggles for modernity show with guest houses with river bungalows offering free wifi but they still use charcoal or firewood to cook their food with.The locals are chilled out and unbelievably nice and full of smilles. It's the kind of place where they apologize to you because you've slipped in the caves and hurt yourself. It has the kind of innocence and happiness where children still play on the streets with makeshift toys and everyone in a village/town still know each other. It's an interesting country where touristy places still only have 3 hrs of electricity at night. In short, get here soon!

I had no idea what to expect when I booked my monstrous 2N/3D journey from Chiang Mai to Luang Prabang, Laos. I just couldn't believe that it was going to take so long to get there! Thankfully,I ended up having the best group ever! We became the "Same Same But Different" (SSBD) crew...

Day 1 - We had a quick pit stop to see the White temple in Chiang Rai. Ornately decorated with little bits of mirror, the pristinely white temple shimmers with dancing light bouncing off everywhere highlighting its grandiose beauty. It's surrounded by skeleton fences and to signify crossing from hell to heaven, you must walk over a white bridge with sculptures of hands pulling you towards darkness. The interior of the temple is beautifully painted with the Buddhist images mixed with pop culture references like Batman, Neo from the Matrix, Avatar, the Twin Towers with evil serpents coiled around it and Star Wars characters. A sort of time capsule of current events, apparently it's for future generations to know what kind of things we fantasized and imagined during our time. Now that's different.

The White Temple

Day 2 & 3 - We crossed over to Laos and took a slow long-boat down the beautiful Mekong River. The "slow" boat is not so bad nor is it too slow. Thankfully we had the whole back area. We sat on mats with our 35B pillows (best $1 my ass has ever thanked), and played shithead and hung out like we've been friends for ages.

This boat is ours!

Some notable SSBD bonding awards:
  • Best Solidarity Award - Staying strong against the woman in our hostel trying to rip us off at the border town.
  • Most Interesting Introduction - Circumcising a boy with braces at 14! Winner by far!
  • Best Fake Birthday Celebration - Finding the cheapest guest house with the nicest woman, getting free beer and Lao Lao shots and partying in Pakbeng. Kate's picture taking and having the time of her life at the Hive bar (the town's one and only best bar).
  • Best Quote - Again, this one goes to Kate when she drunkenly dragged me off a bar stool saying "I'm sorry. I'm sorry but you're ours. We're family! You're our mother!!" Um, slightly disturbing for me but definitely hysterical! I just wish that it didn't stick.
  • Greatest story made up - "Have you met my brother Nick?" Yup, we told people we were half brother/sister. He is 6'1, white and has blue eyes. I told people we had the same ears. Hahaha.
Happy Birthday Kate!! ;)

Luang Prabang

It's suppose to be one of the most romantic cities in SE Asia with it's mystical temples. To be honest, I liked it but I didn't fall in love with this UNESCO heritage city. Don't get me wrong there is certainly a charm about it and I would recommend renting an bicycle and exploring the interesting mixture of temples and indochinese architecture.

Ok, it was a romantic sunset over the Mekong River.

Luang Prabang from Phu Si Hill.

Highlights:
  • Lao Lao - at anywhere between 50-60% alcohol - this local drink packs a punch. It's basically sticky rice moonshine but man, I don't get gut rut nor the wicked hangovers that usually come with this type of poison! Tastes like suped up sake! Charina's liver stamp of approval.
  • The weird curfew where everything shuts down at around 11:30pm at the latest. On one hand it's frustrating but it's probably the reason that LP is so well maintained and preserved. There are a total of 3 bars you can go to 1. The Hive - that has some fun 2 for 1 Lao Lao cocktails. 2. Lao Lao garden where I had the most amazing Lao BBQ - I still dream about that soup. 3. Utopia - a cool wonderful bar by the river with low tables, shisha pipes, crazy giant Jenga and a beach volleyball court.
  • The caves - meh. Seeing 4000 discarded Buddha relics in a cave sounds cooler than it actually is. But the waterfall is brilliant! It's a cool clear blue that was perfectly chilly. Just the right temp to cool you down.
  • The After Party = the Bowling Alley. They sell a bottle of whiskey, coke and ice for $4. Surprisingly enough, in between dancing and drinking, people actually bowled ;)
  • Phu Si Hill Sunset - At 400+ steps, the way up was as beautiful as the view, with statues of reclining Buddhas along the way. The top had a 360 magnificent view of the city and the Mekong and the Nam Khan rivers. It's beautiful to see the sun change the colours of the sky and with beams bouncing off the waters. We took 'couple' pictures that were sweet and funny.
  • Night Market - I must say Asia really has great street markets and nothing can beat yummy cheap 'all you can eat' street food. Plus they have these yummy chicken sandwiches on fresh baguettes and amazing coffee, fruit and oreo shakes everywhere!
  • Offering to the monks - Nick and I woke up ridiculously early to watch the city give offerings to the local monks. The best part was at the beginning when it was still dark when we saw a group of 5 locals on the side of the street with their casings of sticky rice. There was an older, presumably head monk with 5 younger novice disciples that walked past them in a row. 10 meters down they started a quiet chant of thanks. The locals put 3 little piles on the road and poured water over it as a final ritual. On the main street it felt like a zoo of Asian tourists coming out of their vans to sit in pre-set up mats. There were tons of tourists taking pictures of the monks like it was a paparazzi field day. I took a couple of pics and that was about as culturally insensitive as I could get.
Monks. Offerings.

Love the Lao Lao. Seriously. Love it!

Ok, I didn't drink it. I'm brave but not that brave!

Freaky snakes, scorpions, reptiles in Whiskey.

I do love the rivers in Laos!

Another zen moment.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Bathing with Elephants

I'm in love with elephants! For a sec there, I was debating on whether its actually an option to cross Laos by elephant! It crazy how they just let you ride on its neck without any training and you have nothing to hold on to. Basically you are clinging with your inner thighs for dear life. It's specially freaky when your elephant starts going sideways and doesnt really feel to stable when you're going downhill. I thought the girls and I weren't to quite make it unscathed! It's a bit unnerving and odd to feel the muscles of its neck as you plod along a jungle trail and at over 8 ft off the ground that was not going to be a fun landing. The best part was bathing the elephants! We had a fun youngen, who at 29, was playful and would buck us off his head into the dung filled river. He would twist his head from one side to another until we were tossed overboard. It's like bull riding but on an elephant.

Travel advice: Don't wear short shorts cause you kinda get Elephant rash from the prickly hairs they have! And don't swallow the river water it'll make you sick!

Wahoo!!! I'm surfing on an elephant!
We're still holding on before the bucking!

Muang Ngoi & Nong Kiaow

Thanks to Heidi's recommendation - I headed north towards Nong Kiaow. In order to get to Muang Ngoi, you take an additional hour boat ride to get to this idyllic quiet village on the river that has no roads and no motorized vehicles. Its been ages since I've gone to sleep at 10 pm but there isn't much to do after they turn off the electricity. The generators kick in at around 6/7 pm for 3 hours and after that the whole village goes to bed. There is something wonderful about naturally waking up to the sound of roosters crowing at sunrise. I stayed at a ridiculously cheap riverside bungalow for $3. Everyday I would wake up to the most beautiful view of the river and found zen in my hammock. I would listen to river men busily hammering away at their boats presumably trying to fix whatever abuse they've been put through. They say if you can't fix it with a few bangs from a hammer then it's broken.

The sun was hidden by low slung clouds partially covering the mountains in front of me. It rained intermittently which wonderfully forces you to slow down and not do a heck of a whole lot. There are beautiful treks that you can go on. Many that lead past caves, perfect for walking or swimming in. You walk through fields with black and what look like albino buffalos everywhere in the fields.in between mountains, crossing over make shift brigdes of rocks on a stream. The little village I saw reminds me of poor rural areas in the Philippines with children playing on the roads, chickens running around and piggies roaming free.

Best part was hanging with the locals at Sy's place (he is adorable and everyone's "Lao boyfriend") The Resting Lady bar. I watched amateur boxing with the boys, got invited for fish Laap, took shots of Lao Lao with Tom yam soup as chasers (it's amazing how well it goes together), crashed a baby naming party and had more Lao Lao and watched the locals have a gooood time.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to discover other treks and villages or kayak because Colleen and I went to the viewpoint and the caves that will now be known as "injury" cave. It was a far more arduous trek than expected. Because of the rain the trail was far muddier and very slippery. It was like a tropical grouse grind. They had strategically placed bamboos everywhere so you can grab onto it. We were rewarded at the top with 2 viewpoints, the north where you can see the whole river and layers of mountains. On the south side, you can see the entirety of the little village of Muang Ngoi. On our way down, we took a short cut to the caves with a little entrance that was spewing out cool air that felt like a refreshing AC. The cave was long and dark and we explored with our torches for a good 15 minutes- certainly the longest time and the biggest cave I've ever been in without a guide! Then this dragon - long thought to be extinct flew above our head. Not huge at around a meter long, its glowing red eyes and fierce flapping of its wings took me by surprise and I ended up taking a nasty slip, going through a crack and crevice. I got all gashed and cut up by the jagged rocks. Honestly as far as falls go I was pretty lucky and it could have been far worse but man it hurt. I keep telling myself that scars are sexy cause its going to leave some nasty ones. That's the official story and I'm sticking to it - Ok, fine it wasn't a dragon but there were big bats there. Thankfully Colleen and Aly were there to help bandage me up. I was more worried about possible infections since I pretty much slid through bat shit. See pictures of their great patch up!

The locals bathing and doing laundry in the river.

The best view in the world!

Muang Ngoi from a mountain.

On the way to the view point.

Week from Hell

Unfortunately, it was cut short when I found out that my grandmother is sick. So I decided to make my way south back to Bangkok to fly back to Manila. They say things come in 3s...why is that anyway? As terrible luck would have it - yes, it's been a rough week of random mishaps. Made it back alright to LP, bumping into Helena (which made me happy) and had a great last day biking around. Bus journey to Vientiane on the other hand is another story. The first bus broke down 25 min outside of town - which you would think is not bad, but we still had to wait a terrible 5 hrs for the next one. I got hurt myself when I went into the pitch black bus to grab my bag and went flying down the stairs. Thank goodness Ian, my new best bus friend is a med student and helped me out. However, this started a new era of more limping! Can't freaking believe it - Nothing for 15 months and then every 2 days for the last week.

Official boo boo tally: Dragon scars on left hamstring, small scrapes right foot, extremely bruised left knee, banged up right shin, bump/small scrapes on forehead, sore left thumb. (Mom, it's seriously sounds worse than it is...I'm ok! Seriously, these things happen)

Aly and Colleen's patch work. Thanks ladies!

Scars are sexy right?!?!

So, off to the Philippines for round 2 to be with my grandma! But this is what I will always remember of Lao...

Zen in a Hammock!!!